The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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