On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
