she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
