there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
