had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
