she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
