I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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