you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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