Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
