I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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