this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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