the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
