i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
