What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
