The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Randomize
