I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
