After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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