so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
