My cat gives me a boner
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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