how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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