Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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