Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
