my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
