ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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