The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
