it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
