well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize