1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
