There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
When are your genitals available?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
