Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
how does that bad decision feel?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
