I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
