I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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