12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
