The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Randomize
