Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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