Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
vagina is talking i cant
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
