evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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