Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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