Where is the hickey?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
wow bdsm is so cute
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
