my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
