have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I need to align my fucking chakras
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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