you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
