Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
