I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
She even gives head with a lisp.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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