Me too!
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
