You work out of a Hotel?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
