Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
me + whiskey = a bad person
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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