i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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