I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
