Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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