I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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