Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize