i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
