yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Randomize
