just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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